THe BIG bANg

One wonders, while meandering through life, our destination at the end of our long road. A road with too many junctions to remember, too many red lights to stop at. Some floored, putting the pedal to the metal and going "Wooohooo!!!" into the wind. Others are more cautious, with roof and windows up against unexpected rain. And yet whether we are driving a good-for-nothing pile of metal with an engine attached or cruising at the backseat of a limousine, we always seem to get wet. How serious the sudden presence of too much moisture would then depend on whether we are wearing a water-proof, anti-exposure jacket or a dry-clean only suit.

And there would be many checkpoints along the way. Petrol kiosks fuel you up. A change of batteries to recharge your soul. A shopping spree at a roadside bazaar. An emergency toilet-break amongst the deserted bushes. Not all wil be planned. Most won't. Others are necessary. A handful would be just for the fun of it.

And the passengers. They who share the car with you, forever pointing at the directions you should take, at other cars driving past yours. They will irritate you. They will make you wish murder isn't against the law. But at the same time, they will be the ones to jerk you awake when you are about to fall asleep on the wheel. They are the ones you would be fighting to stay awake for( and who would be nagging at you to stop fro a break). And when in trouble, they will be the ones who would take the wheel, whether you want to or not, but always when you need them to.


Once in a while, you'd pick up that one special passenger that you hope would stay with you for the rest of your journey. They put an extra verve to the way you drive. From them, you'll learn when to speed up and when to slow down. They will teach you to balance between caring for them and keeping your eyes on the road. They will smack you senseless when you look at another passenger in another car. As you steer them along, remember that they have cars of their own too. And when they leave, bumps would seem to appear out of no where, and you would be tempted to stop. Sometimes to the extent of ending your journey there and then.

But bear in mind that the fuel in your tank should never be wasted and there are other passengers whose feelings ou would have to consider. The journey is still long but your chances of finding another 'special passenger' is just as high.

And what of the end of your journey? Would there be the proverbial pot of gold, always there at the end of every rainbow? Would you reach the ocean, vast and incomprehensible, to realise that there is always more to life? Would you reach the dreaded dead end, where you can either stay, despair and accumulate rust, or reverse, sometimes a long way, to pick another turn in the last junction. Maybe you would accidentally dive off a cliff, and realise that a car is a car and not a fighter jet.

Or, with a new found wisdom, you would realise that though your hands are old and lined, your fingers stained and bony, you would notice the younger, more energetic grip of your younger passengers. How eager they seem to be on their own way, to beging their own journey. It won't be easy surrendering the wheel to them. BUt you would know that you must. The engine still roars. The wheels still turn. The other cars won't ever stop comletely just for you. And so, the only thing to do would be to give your car over to your heirs. You will see them embark on a journey so much like yours, but one that is so different. And you are free to rest after a long journey, safe and content in the knowledge that though all roads are different. They all lead to the same place for all of us. Home......








It has been such a long time since I had avccess to a computer, much less blogged. Maybe i should find another analogy for life when i have the time. Using cars....i don't even have a freaking license!!!

Realizations And Whatever-ations

THINGS I HAVE REALISED (as of this moment)



In a couple of months, I'm gonna be considered one of the more senior members of my unit. And I would be able to legitimately order some people around. Great. I can tell people what to do and then blame the system which allows me to do so when they complain!!! Haha!





I miss IJC. To those of you who are currently studying in a JC now, mark my words, you WILL miss your JC days whether you like them or not. You'll miss those times when you were stressing out in the canteen, running for seats in the library, vandalising your table during a lecture, eating your favourite canteen lunch, the funny quirks of your teachers........



My knee is itching and I don't know why.





I hate Korean food. Except for kimchi. Those cabbage ones. And of course, with the almost exclusive exception of that in Seoul Garden.





Thai food is absurdly simillar to Malay food. Except for maybe things like papaya salad.( But hey, even then, we Malays have mango rojak!)







My spelling and sentence structures for my previous posts are horrendous. I shall shoot myslef later.







I realise I do not have a gun.







Oh, and I read that part about me killing myself if Nutella was ever banned in Singapore. How stupic of me! Duuuhhh. I'll just move to Malaysia!! It's probably cheaper there anyway!









Almost every post of mine has some reference to chocolate, in one way or another,





(Note to self: Dark chocolate is good for your heart.)





(Another note to self: Neither Nutella nor Kinder Bueno consists of Dark chocolate.)









I realise I know too much about some things. Like how to test for saggy breasts. No, I do not test it out on myself!! There was just this article in some health magazine....









I realise that some things are better left unsaid.











I think i am rambling.











I LOVE SINGAPORE!!!! (Sure, the feeling kicked in a little too late. National Day was over a week ago and I wasn't so enthusiastic then, was I? Oh, and the reason for this sudden burst of patriotism? No, not the silver medal thingy won by Singapore by Chinese atheletes. No. It's just that I read a book just now. It's tile? Singapore Food. By some New Zealander expat.)











My knee is still itching and it's irritating the hell out of me.





Oh, and a quote i read just now by some woman whose name I'll probably never, ever recall: "You will know death by living. And you will know life by dying. 'Tis a pity. A pity...."







I think the woman in question was emo'ing.....





NOw, on THAT subject.......











GDNITE!!!! =)

In Pursuit of Happiness.....

What a week. First in the Pop Choir Category then second in the College Group Category, I think TAS has a very bright future ahead of it.





And it seems like no one is paying attention to whatever it was I was typing about during my last post. Why? Cuz the whole lot of people I know seem to be emo-ing!!! Or are trying to get someone they now out of a state of perpetual emo-ness!!! Whatever. If they are going to wallow in self pity when things are sucky enough as it is, it is their problem. As for me.....I'll be my usual self.



Sometimes when I think about it, the one thing that keeps me from emo-ing is plain laziness..... I'll feel depressed about something, toss anmd turn in bed for two minutes and by the end of those two minutes, I'll be doing whatever normal people do in lalaland.


Or I'll turn on music. Or watch TV.


But, just in case you people still insist on emoing. I have a song to recommend. No, it is not a cheerful song that's gonna bring back that spring in your step. It's a song about life, one that I have fallen in love with eversince I listened to it. The lyrics are pure genius, as is the music itself. The song is called "Both Sides Now", by Joni Mitchell. Go look it up on youtube. And listen to the one released in the year 2000(Joni Mitchell first released it waaaay back in the 70s) by the same artist. I guess...well.. it puts life into perspective.





And I am EXHAUSTED of people becoming emo for stupid reasons. I am not, as some most of you my attest to, a natural motivator. I do the exact opposite particularly well though. I mean, I'm the one who's probably doomed to teaching verbs and pronouns to hormonal adolescents for my whole life, what with pursuing a degree in English and all, as that's what most people do when they get that particular accollade. I missed getting into the top Uni in Singapore cuz i failed one measley subject that had nothing to do with the course I'm hoping for and do you see me emoing?!



Of course, this post is going out to all those who are emotionally depressed. If you are emotionally deranged however......and if you are just naturally grumpy through wind, rain and shine...... just...... try not to tread on my nerves. GAAAH!!





On a brighter note, I just found all my missing T-shirts. My youngest brother had been hoarding them in the hopes of eventually claiming them as his. He is so busted.




I am never buying him food on my way back home ever again.







And I'm telling my mother. Maybe then it will inspire her to look into our cupboards and realise that I have been living of my Father's hand-me-downs for some years now. That might then inspire her to buy us some new clothes.




In case you don't know, my Father's wardrobe is more up to date and hip than mine is. Half the shirts i wear to perform are his and the other half were shirts that are mine but given to me by my father.



BYe. I am going to sleep.

I'm going to attempt an emo entry now. PLease just bear with me..... goodness knows I've waded through my share of emo entries....





WHY ME!? Why is it always ME? What did I Do WRONG to deserve this?! Oh someone tell me why!! I tried my best, really, at whatever it was that I was suppossed to do, but everything always goes wrong! Sobs.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I'm not fated to do whatever it was I was suppossed to do. Maybe I should just...just... aarrgghhhh. I shouldn't be thinking about this, I really shouldn't. I must stay strong. I must get through this. I don't care what other people think of me. But...but it's just so haaaaaaaard.....*bawls*


*Shudders*

Ok, I will never ever attempt to write another one of those nasty paragraphs ever again. When I really feel down, I don't blog about it. I get into bed with several bars of Kinder Bueno and indulge in fanatsies of drenching whoever it was that made my day bad in boiling, hot...chocolate. Yes, chocolate. With plenty of sugar.


Then throwing him or her in the path of those killer ants in the Amazon that attacks and eats everything in its path.



Stop emoing people!!! Life sucks. Straight out. We'll always be short of money, short of time and short of sleep. We'll always fail at something and do well in other things. Like eating chocolate. We'll always face times when we feel we are alone and miserable, for no other reason than the fact that we can't seem to get joy from whatever it is we are doing, even things we believe we are passionate in. Challenges and obstacles will always be in every corner of every turn on every road in our lives and there will be times when we fail pathetically in trying to overcome them. But so what?

I believe in the fact that the human spirit is prized, not only for its frightening will to survive and its capacity to hope and work for something better, but also for its ability to push us forward. Even if we have nowhere to go. It is this extraordinary strength that makes heroes out of some of us and, for others, matyrs for their cause. Maybe I sound like one of those people giving motivational speeches, or worse, a politician, but really, think about it. Don't ask "Why me?". It is useless to ask questions for which there are no answers. We should instead be asking "So what do I do now?" or "Is there someone who can help?". Or even "What's the number of the ambulance service?"(it's 995 btw).

Life sucks. I agree. Work sucks. I know. Things are always so complicated. Been there, done that. But maybe if we stop thinking about all the depressing topics, and think more about the good in life, it'll seem like the whole situation is a lot better.

A few examples:

A friend backstabs you. How to find a brightside to that? Well...now you know he/she is not really a good friend afterall... why don't you just stab right back? Lol. Kidding. Then again....


You feel lonely at home with nothing but the computer to entertain you. The brightside to this is...... thank God for computers!!! Or your Nintendo DS! Or your TV!! Or your...urm...personal magazines....


You're failing at everything in school. Now how to think positively about that? Well, my experience from mixing around with all kinds in people in NS.....be glad you have a place in a school. Seriously. Some people I know now are wishing so much to get into a school, any school, just so their futures will be less bleak. And even then, I hardly ever see them emo. At least with a place in school, you get to work on your grades. For some others.... they have to think about jobs that won't put so much importance on their grades in school...and those jobs aren't the kind people usually want to think about.


You hate your life. Okaaayy..... but at least you're still alive! It's sad when you hear tales about people realizing the true value of their lives... mostly when they're about to lose it.



You never miss the water until it's gone, they say. Well there is plenty of water now. Fill yourself up with it.



Anyway, I'm going to bed now. All this talk about life and whatever is in it....It just makes me feel so glad I'm where I am right now.




And in life, Nutella and Kinder Bueno will help, trust me. (Sorry rl, I just couldn't resist putting that in!! ;)

Looming.....

Can you believe it?

I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon so I was released earlier and I took the train. I fell asleep. I was suppossed to have gotten off at Dhoby Ghout to switch trains. I WOKE UP AT MARINA-FREAKING-BAY!!!!



Needless to say, I was spectacularly late for my appointment.


Anyway, the acappella championships are coming up and sorry to say that there are no free tickets this year. None at all. Esplanade and Sistic are handling sales so do get down to where there is a Sistic outlet and buy tickets!!! And come!!!!! Each ticket is priced at $20. Both shows start at 0730 pm at the Recital Studio. The Pop Choir Category is on the 11th of Aug and the College Category will be on the 13th of Aug. Please come. For either one. If you come for both, I'll be grateful. But it will depend on who you are first.



Work at my unit is....interesting. You would not believe the conversations we have had. Topics ranging from the best fruit juice place in town to anal sex(still not sure how that one popped up) had been discussed with gusto..... some with more gusto than others.



Read an interesting book just now, something about how to write with spunk and bite.

Read another interesting book on how to bridge the different worls religions.

Saw another about how wonderful Iran is as a country but too bad it's leaders are slightly less than sane.

And another about how George Bush is finally doing what is best for the world (he's not running for president again).

Also one about how we're all going to die if we keep using air-conditioners for every day of our lives.

I miss going to Borders. Problem is, it's boring to go there alone. But at the same time, I can never find someone willing to stay there for one whole day with me.

And my friend just told me that the last Harry Potter book now costs less that ten bucks. I'm gonna buy it soon.

I think I wanna start listening to jazz....... am gonna scour the cd shops for good albums.

I need cash for clothes.

Now that I have vomited whatever there is floating in the recesses of my mind, I'll go have a peaceful night of rest and relaxation. Hoefully, it will last until exactly 0520 hours later in the morning. Goodnight!!!!